December 27, 2006

If I Loved

If I didn't have a care in the world
(And truth be told, I don't have one),
How freely I would love you...if I loved.

I would love you even as
You say what I don't want you to say,
Do what I think I don't want you to do.
Like a mother observing her child in tantrum,
I would know that this is merely movement,
That who you are
Is always unmoving,
And I would not move from my love...if I loved.

If I didn't have a preference in heaven or on earth
(And behind the mirage of this and that, I don't),
I would always, always choose you...if I loved.

I'd be clear that you are always my favorite,
However darkly cloaked you appear.
I would see only radiance,
I would see you as the mystic's vision of the Divine,
As a mirror of my soul,
Not separate from love...if I loved.

If I didn't have an agenda for my life
(And of course, we all have the same one),
I would want nothing from you—no thing...if I loved.

What can you give me
That I don't already have?
And yet you are the one
Who gives it all.
If you didn't exist, I would have to invent you,
As perhaps I have,
For in a world of "me's" and "you's"
I will always seek until I find myself.
That is why True Lovers say
"Beloved...I am you."
And I would say it too, to you...if I loved.


©2006 by Carol L. Skolnick. All rights reserved.

1 comment:

msandhyam said...

Carol,
If I Loved is very beautiful. I find it clear and honest and free of having it to be anyway else. Very accepting yet hopeful, intentional.
Thank you,
Sandhya