May 26, 2009

Ask a Facilitator: I Shouldn't be Thinking These Thoughts!

Q: I love using The Work of Byron Katie. However, when I go into question three—"How do you react when you believe this thought?"—the array of underlying beliefs I carry shocks me and I find it hard not to beat myself up for thinking them. I can pull myself back to continue the worksheet, but I experience a lot of shame, despair and overwhelm about the thoughts I have uncovered. I'm finding it difficult to see that these are all "just" thoughts and not me.

A: I really understand; I used to react that way also and I, too had to learn how to be a gentle observer of my thoughts rather than to identify with them. As you continue to unravel your stressful thoughts through The Work, you'll see that all you are doing is noticing what happens when you attach to beliefs that don't serve you. It's what we all do, so innocently.

At first it can be quite upsetting to see what's been festering under the surface; even now after doing The Work for so many years, uncovering those thoughts can move me to tears. However, once you these thoughts see the light of day, they can be met with understanding and you may find you are left lighter and freer.

I hope you will continue to take the "juiciest" of these "nasty" beliefs to inquiry. They have come to your awareness so that you can come home to yourself. (I would also question this belief: You shouldn't be having thoughts like these; is that true?)

If your stories are very tenacious and painful, you might find it useful to work with a Certified Facilitator. You can also call the Hotline free of charge, where facilitators in training will walk you through any thought that is troubling to you.

©2009 by Carol L. Skolnick. All rights reserved.

1 comment:

Jon said...

I can certainly relate to this - when I first started the work I thought I didn't realise just how deep it would go - I describe it as going out into the garden to pull up a few weeds, then finding out it's a major landscaping job and the more I dig, I find all kinds of "dead bodies" - quite a shock :)

My own experience is that the process becomes more comforable and another thought/belief that can be inquired into is "I am thinking these thoughts"... thought happens :)