September 10, 2010

In the Name of The Work, How Do I Abandon The Work?

Byron Katie has said, "If I think you need The Work, I need The Work."

I'll take it one step further: outside of a mutually agreed-upon, facilitator-client relationship, in the moment I invite you to question your thoughts, I have left The Work; it has become something else entirely.

What do I mean by this? Discuss.

6 comments:

John A said...

I do not always act as if I believe that EVERYTHING is happening just as it should. Consequently, I still spend time concerned about other people's work (and its affect on me and how I can help fix them). However, I no longer spend any time concerned about whether I am in or out of "The Work." The religion of my youth--Catholicism--had enough of that sort of test of my correctness to do me for a lifetime.

I cherish the peace I have gained since Katie's simple observations became part of my worldview, but I am not in the market for another religion. More important, I don't think the people I encounter need one either--especially not from me.

You appear to be a seeker of peace who happens to have a public blog (that has been on my Reader for years). I thank you for putting your experiences out where we can learn from them--even without a facilitator-client relationship.

Anonymous said...

Hi Carol, i think that if i invite someone to question his thoughts, i am in his bussines, and i am doing His Work not My Work....so its not The Work anymore for me...it really is me runing his life :)).
I added you in my SKype list...are you often online?

Thanks, Vlad.

Jon said...

The invitation to question thoughts may not come from being in another person's business, it may come from kindness or love.

For example, why would I stand by and let someone suffer if it seems there is something that can be done about it.

The key for me is if i feel stress that the person doesn't question their thought - i'm in their business at that point. if i'm ok with it, i can simply move on, it's not for them, most of the time i have enogh of my own work to do anyway :)

Kas said...

HI Carol here is a less wordy comment, I like your blog and your attitude, we need more positive people like yourself for the New Age to awaken.

Carol L. Skolnick said...

Thank you for your comments everyone.

Jon, you wrote:

"The invitation to question thoughts may not come from being in another person's business, it may come from kindness or love."

Yes. And doing so in the spirit of being kind and loving may still have an element of being in another's business mentally. See below.

"For example, why would I stand by and let someone suffer if it seems there is something that can be done about it."

Well, for me to say "I invite you to question that thought" feels arrogant to me, like I'm trying to be Katie Junior and doing a really bad job of it. It feels kinder for me to say something like, "You sound upset. Are you up for a little inquiry? If so, I am available."

In other words, I will give them what I have, what works for me, if they want it. But for me to think for a second that they need it and ought to partake of it to end their suffering is not The Work. It is being a fixer, a teacher, the one who knows better than another what is best for them.

It all depends on the spirit in which The Work is offered. To paraphrase John A above, I certainly don't need another religion and no one needs me to save them and preach my "gospel" to them.

Jon said...

Hi Carol,

Agreed - funnily enough, one of the things I find that makes it seem like a religion is the capitalizing of it, or even calling it 'The Work' - rather than just this 'thing that helps me to feel less stressed' :)

Again, as you say, it's more about the spirit than anything else.

Jon x