Occupy This Facilitator Until Dec. 31, 2011

The tides are changing here in my queendom by the sea. Old systems have been outed as no longer serving, new ones are taking their place amid some inner protesting. Fears of not fitting in or of displeasing others are giving way to the need to live and work with integrity. Call it a midlife crisis; I prefer to call it Occupy Myself...at least 99%.

It has been more than a year, perhaps two, since I last facilitated a workshop, held a teleclass, or trained a trainer. I haven't been diligent about blog posts or newsletters, to say the least. That's because my work as a facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie has largely taken a back seat to some much-needed and long-ignored self-care (exercise and nutrition) and to my creative endeavors: painting, writing and performance. And because, even though I was a promotions manager and copywriter for many years...having done PR for celebrities, created print and web advertising for megacorporations, and composed entire catalogs full of merch...I've never really enjoyed marketing my own stuff.

While I still offer The Work, it has been quite awhile since I've worked hard to build awareness about my services, or to create more curriculum around what is essentially always the same process, wherever it's applied. Truth be told, I've run out of unique things to say about The Work; most of my insights, tips and tricks are right here in this blog, and needn't be endlessly recycled.

I don't see a problem with this turn of events; it's just the way things are. The problem, if there was one, was trying to fit myself into a little box of being a "this" when who I am was always more varied and variable than a "this." There came a point when saying, "This is my life's work" was no longer true; I was playing small and not developing my gifts. In doing so, I was doing a disservice to myself, and perhaps to the world.

So yes, I still facilitate The Work by request, and I still feel without a doubt that it's one of the most elegant processes available to sift through confusion and stuckness to find one's own truth. It certainly has been for me, and continues to be on an as-needed basis. I love staying in The Work by working with others, and, as they say in the 12-step programs, sharing my experience, strength and hope. I am grateful forever for this wonderful way of ours, this way of opening the heavy dungeon doors that, truly speaking, are never locked.

So there is more, much more, to come. I'm excited to let you in on it just as soon as it becomes clearer to me!

Meanwhile, I have had a special rate running for all of 2011, and the year's not over yet. I called it the "Prosperity Special" since I refused to feed the recent recession by calling it that. I have previously made this offer available only to my newsletter subscribers and on the Clear Life Solutions Facebook page, but, as I said, the tides are changing!

So from now until the end of December, you can still experience 12 hour-long sessions of laser-sharp inquiry and unlimited email support for $900, prepaid. (It's okay if the sessions extend into the new year but must be completed by February 2012.) That's a savings of $300 off the price quoted on my website.

Please contact me if you'd like a 20-minute consultation to see if it's appropriate for us to work together.

And why do this with me? Because I'm told that having me as a facilitator is helpful, eye-opening, unorthodox, and a lot of fun. And because it's the lowest rate I've ever offered to the public, and this particular package won't be offered again.

So let's occupy ourselves, 100%.

For more information about who I am and what I've been doing for the past 10 years, please visit ClearLifeSolutions.com

Does This Ego Make Me Look Fat?

I went to a "meeting" last night—to protect the innocent, I won't say which one or where, but suffice it to say it was for people who have issues with food, eating, and the effects of food excesses on the body. It's no secret to readers of this blog that I've had more than my share of those issues since an early age, when I was urged, as a little one, to "Eat everything on your plate so you'll grow up to be big and strong"...only to discover, when I was 10, that—according to the same adults who once found my large appetite to be so cute—I was eating too much, and would surely grow up to be big and weak.

To sum up what I heard at the meeting: some people get obsessed with food and eating to the point of unhappiness and ill health, and this is called "food addiction." A way to control the addictive urge to eat "red light" foods, and to overeat in general, is to consume only specific foods, to weigh and measure them with precision, and never to stray from this, not even on your birthday when everyone else is enjoying your birthday cake. If you want dominion over the addiction, you intend to follow this plan for the rest of your life, one day at a time.

In this particular group, which has stricter guidelines than similar groups, food choices are in the control of a sponsor who tells the sponsee exactly what to eat. This is done because "We [group members] admit we are powerless over food." There is also a huge emphasis in this program about weight loss; it seems that success on the plan is measured not simply in "abstinent" days, but in the amount of weight lost and kept off. (I wonder how this works for slender people with food issues.)

Actually, I'm on a regimen myself at the moment that is...well, regimented. There's a list of foods I can choose from (it's quite extensive but not all-encompassing), which may be prepared only in specific combinations...certain foods that are verboten (grains, sugar, red meat, shellfish, nuts, table salt, coffee, black tea)...and all are to be eaten in weighed-and-measured amounts, on the small side but perfectly adequate for complete adult nutrition. The food is also prepared with a minimum of fat, no heavy sauces, excessive condiments or spices, so that the natural flavors and textures of the food can be fully experienced. It is also recommended to eat without drinking or talking during the meal, and to chew each bite to liquid (at least 22 times) before swallowing.

Following this plan—which I will do for awhile and see how it goes (so far, so good; I feel great; joint pain is remarkably reduced, and my ADD seems to have disappeared)—certainly makes life easier, unless I think I need regular ingestion of vegetable tempura or lobster risotto in order to be happy. No choices about amounts, and fewer choices about what I'm going to eat, means less headroom taken up by thoughts of food. I've come to see that I spend a good portion of my day thinking about (or obsessing over), shopping for, preparing and eating meals...time I could be using to write articles, work on my business, watch movies, or do The Work.

But am I powerless over food? I don't see how that is possible. I'm not addicted to food; I'm addicted to my thoughts about food. Thoughts like, "I need more food." I inquired into that concept the other day and discovered that this has never been true for me; it can never be true, and yet I have believed it all my life and used it as a justification for eating more than I actually want to.

As I've watched my addictive tendencies around food and eating, I've discovered that my core addiction is to the future. Wanting more of something—be it food, sex, dope, money, attention, time on the internet—is not a present-tense story; it's about wanting comfort, security, and pleasure. Wanting more means forgetting what's happening in the moment; I'm already concerned with the next moment, and with the point where what's in front of me is gone, so I miss what's in front of me. As a result, I eat too fast and don't experience taste and fullness; I load my fork for the next mouthful, not giving the current mouthful my full attention. In following this program, I've come to see that the next mouthful is not my business; when I'm eating mindfully, I don't miss the fulfillment of this one that I'm chewing now. As a result, I don't need as much food as I previously thought, and I'm appreciating and being intimate with the food I have.

As for weight loss, it's been happening, and yet this is not where it's at for me at the moment. I welcome a lighter body as a bonus, because there is less encumbrance, less physical pain, easier breathing, more energy...and I see that I have been unkind to this body to have ever seen it as unworthy, unattractive, or less than perfect. Body-condemnation is an ego-trip of the worst kind; a false sense of self in which there is no recognition of one's true nature. Love has no problem living in a fat body, a skeletal body, an old body, a body that's ill or misshapen or missing parts. The only time a fat body is a problem is when I project that it is hateful and I identify as a hateful object.

Byron Katie once told me, "There's nothing you can do to lose [or gain] weight." That goes against scientific evidence to the contrary, but this is not about science; it's about eating in a way that feels closer to Source. When we touch Source, there are many things that we used to think we needed that we see we no longer need. This doesn't mean that we don't exercise, lose or gain weight, sleep, feed the body healthy foods in healthy amounts. It's like the story about a monk who for many years meditated and meditated, prayed and prayed for a vision of the Divine Mother, until one day he realized he was That and didn't need the vision. That was the day the Goddess came to bless him.


©2008 by Carol L. Skolnick; all rights reserved.