Nearly a year ago to this day, my home in New York City was practically empty and it was just a few days from the closing...I had just incurred a hip injury and could barely walk...everything I owned, minus two suitcases, was on a van heading across the country...the apartment I had lined up in California had just fallen through and I had not yet found another one. I told Byron Katie I was feeling a mite scared of what lay ahead of me. She asked, "What if it's not fear? What if it's excitement?"
In an instant my mind aligned with reality and the present moment and I understood I was not frightened. I had simply labelled a sensation and attached, not to the reality of the situation, but to a word, responding according to the story the word "scared" tells. In fact, I was excited. I was embarking on a new life, an adventure. I had no idea where I was going to live or what it was all going to look like...and this produced butterflies in my stomach, sleepless nights, questions. Fear does this. Excitement does too. However, fear terrorizes, while excitement is fun. Fear is resistant, excitement is open and willing. Answering Katie's simple question (it was, in essence, question four of The Work: "Who would you be without this thought?") rapidly moved me from insanity to happiness. The truth is like that.
So I could tell you that I am nervous about my upcoming appearance on Tuesday, February 6th with Byron Katie on the KUSP FM 88.9 radio show, "Talk of the Bay." (!0-11 am PST; you can listen live at KUSP.org.) After all, I have never been interviewed on the radio before, I stammer sometimes, I could make a total fool of myself in my mentor's presence (it wouldn't be the first time, either). Or I could tell you I'm excited, honored and happy to be sharing this experience with Katie and for the opportunity to let our audience know how The Work changed and continues to inform this formerly abjectly miserable woman's life.
Both stories, nervous and excited, seem true simultaneously right now; I still have a little work to do on this, obviously. ("I'll screw it up," is it true?) And I wanted to let you all know about the show, because it's a wonderful thing. Katie will be talking about The Work, facilitating callers and introducing her new book, A Thousand Names for Joy. I'm there to add local color because I give Work workshops here in Santa Cruz and I'll speak about...whatever they ask me to! (I don't need to know what to do, thank goodness!)
Postscript: The show went really well! Listen to the recording of the program now:
http://audio1.cruzio.com/kusp/pod/totb/2007/02/06.mp3
©2007 by Carol L. Skolnick. All rights reserved.
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