To call someone "angry" in my own world is a defense on my part. That judgement hasn't worked for me in the past 40 something years.
When I call or label someone as angry, I stop listening to them, dismiss them as childish, unreasonable, out of control, too demanding and not worthy of my time.
When I can question the "angry" label I notice I can hear them and connect.
What I heard her say was that no one is an "angry person." People get angry when they believe and don't question their stressful thoughts - thoughts like, "Life is unfair," or "That shouldn't have happened," or "My business partner cheated me," or "My husband (mother, child, dog) ruined my life."
What I surmise is that to say someone is angry is to claim to know something about them and truly speaking, I can't. They may be yelling at me, using a tone of voice, throwing things, etc. and I have no idea what is going on in their head. It might be hurt, as Annie says, and it may be frustration, depression, etc. Don't know.
What makes me angry is what makes me depressed, same thing: I'm not geting my way. So I'm like a pressure cooker. When I do The Work, it's a way of letting out some of that steam that's building up. Sometimes I find out I wasn't angry at all...just confused.
4 comments:
I don't know - it might be best to ask her! :-)
It could be that there is no anger inside her, so she simply sees no anger in others.
To call someone "angry" in my own world is a defense on my part. That judgement hasn't worked for me in the past 40 something years.
When I call or label someone as angry, I stop listening to them, dismiss them as childish, unreasonable, out of control, too demanding and not worthy of my time.
When I can question the "angry" label I notice I can hear them and connect.
Gosh those were great questions, Carol.
Thank you.
Love you! M
Because to her every angry person is really a hurt one?
What I heard her say was that no one is an "angry person." People get angry when they believe and don't question their stressful thoughts - thoughts like, "Life is unfair," or "That shouldn't have happened," or "My business partner cheated me," or "My husband (mother, child, dog) ruined my life."
What I surmise is that to say someone is angry is to claim to know something about them and truly speaking, I can't. They may be yelling at me, using a tone of voice, throwing things, etc. and I have no idea what is going on in their head. It might be hurt, as Annie says, and it may be frustration, depression, etc. Don't know.
What makes me angry is what makes me depressed, same thing: I'm not geting my way. So I'm like a pressure cooker. When I do The Work, it's a way of letting out some of that steam that's building up. Sometimes I find out I wasn't angry at all...just confused.
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